I can eat whatever the hell I want!

I've had a considerable amount of Oprah-like "a-ha" moments in the past couple of weeks. Although my good health is new, it feels as though this is always who I have been. I don't know how to describe it sufficiently but life feels completely different and the same all at once. I think it might have something to do with the fact that my dreams have always been intact for the most part. Now, I just have the body to make them happen.

When I eat brussels sprouts or raw carrots I eat them knowing that I will be pain-free and bloat-free. But I also don't even think about it, either. Imagine. After nine years of not being about to eat these things free of stress and it has only taken a month for me to overcome the natural hesitation that used to accompany eating such things. How quickly the mind forgets. It is only later when I am lying in bed that the "a-ha" moment comes as I relax and become comfortable in my bed, all while understanding there will be no 2 a.m. dash to the bathroom. I can just close my eyes and let my body do what normal bodies do to digest.

A specific moment that hit me hard came last week with my follow up with my surgeon and doctor. I saw both of them back to back. As it is no longer necessary to see my surgeon, I made my follow up appointment for my regular Crohn's doc. We scheduled my appointment for August. AUGUST. Yes-for the first time since I was diagnosed, I will go six months without seeing a doctor. For some reason this really made me aware of the fact that this is real, that I am healthy, and that the past really is over and done.

For now I am enjoying life because that's what we are supposed to do and hopefully everything else will begin to fall into place.

No comments: