2012 thus far

The New Year has come and gone.

I celebrated important milestones in the month of January, notably my one year surgery anniversary and the ten year anniversary of the day I was diagnosed with Crohns.  This staggering momento did not make me sad like it sometimes did in the past, but it just reminded me that I am healthy, I am alive, and I will be okay.

I will not say it was all smiles and happiness as 2012 came.  I was fortunate to be gifted with visits to some of my closest friends when they were on the east coast for the holidays and I had the freedom of expendable time to reconnect.  However, there is always something bittersweet about being surrounded by people that you love.  It’s like being in college when you were a little homesick and you looked forward to seeing your family but it was almost worse when you went back to school because the memory of the comforts of home were fresh and easily recalled.   That’s exactly how I felt towards the latter part of January when the reality of returning to school approached and I realized I would spend the next few months completely immersed in classes, all without the luxury of having close friends nearby.

In addition to all of this, one of my childhood friends lost his sister suddenly and it really started turning the wheels in my head.  I thought about a friend I lost four years ago who was the same age I am now.  These tragedies can’t help but make me think about time, purpose, and action.  We have so little time to determine how exactly we are going to occupy our lives and it is all dependent on being fearless.  I suppose we all draw on the relative tragedies in our lives as motivation to make the best of everything.  I guess that’s what the last year of my life has shown.

I don’t know what this year will bring but I know I will live it being as bold as reason will allow.  There are things I have thought about doing in the past that I thought were too big for me to attempt, however, I now truly believe that regret is worse than failure.  When you know someone who loses their life at a young age, you cannot believe anything else.

My hope is to continue to surround myself with positive, happy people.  I hope by this time next year I have an event-filled year to reflect on just as I did this year.  While I hope for these things I know I will have successes to take pride in simply because I have the attitude necessary to make positive change happen.  If I’m lucky, I might even inspire someone else.