I haven't written in a few weeks so I figured today would be a great time to update and talk about some things that have been going on.
For starters, I received the results of my ACTH test and my adrenal functionality came back normal which was a very welcomed relief. Just the idea of having something else wrong with me and needing to see another specialist had me more worried than I let on. I think the bullshit that comes along with Crohn's is enough.
Otherwise, today is my last day watching my nephew full-time. I am a little bit sad because I feel like he is just changing so much every day and he's become this little awesomely amazing person whom I love more than words can say. He really makes me think that one day I might want to have one or two just like him, which is something I never thought I would consider for myself before he came into my life.
So tomorrow I start my first "real" job in almost 2 1/2 years. I can't believe it's been that long since I last worked and naturally I am pretty nervous and anxious to get a few days under my belt and become comfortable with my work place. I got a really sweet serving job at a restaurant about 15 minutes from my house and I got a really good vibe from the management and owners. Even though I haven't started I know it's going to be a place where I can feel comfortable to inform them about my ostomy, should I ever need to.
However, of course there is a lot of apprehension with just worrying about the little things, like, What am I gonna do if I have a leak in the middle of a shift or one of those few experiences where I am running around like crazy and all of the sudden I have a balloon on my stomach and I can't get to the bathroom. These are some of the reasons I was skeptical of taking on a restaurant job when I thought about foraying back into the work force, but I know that once I develop a routine I will no longer be stressed about ostomy-related issues. It's just one more hurdle I have to overcome but it pales in comparison to what I have already been through. The worst that can happen is that I realize I need to be in a different working environment. That concept is one that I didn't quite understand until recently. After all of the stress of my health problems I have learned that I don't need to stay at a job where I am unhappy and I am allowed to say "no" every once in a while.
Otherwise, I have been thinking a lot about turning twenty-seven next month and the fact that a week after my birthday will also be mine and Stevie's (the stoma) two-year anniversary. I can't believe either of those occasions will soon be reality. I have never been one to be sad about getting older and I don't feel that old but it makes me reflect a lot on where I thought I would be at this age and where I actually am. All things considered, I think there is a lot for me to be proud of which is why I really want to organize a night for me and my friends and family to get dinner downtown and do something out of the norm. I never had a twenty-first birthday and looking back, my eighteenth birthday wasn't exactly a healthy one either. In fact, all of my really healthy birthdays were spent in Maryland and I think it's about time to enjoy a night with some of the people I love the most. I think back to how awesome my birthday was last year and I can only imagine with how much better I feel that this year it can really be something special if I want it to be. It's not so much a celebration of my birthday as much as it is a way to share my health and happiness with everyone who helped me get to this point.
Anyways, those are just some ramblings on what is going on right now. I hope you are all enjoying your summer. Time to go eat some lunch with Braden.