9.16.2010

Tired

I am tired. But I'm not sick. The past couple of days have been the first days in a while where I have just sat around not doing much. It's probably a good thing for me. I tend to judge how productive I am based on how many things I can cram into one day. Sometimes I over-do it. Lately I've been in a very predictable routine of exercise, studying, and nephew-obsessing. Sometimes, it's nice to just spend a whole day watching TV. I need to find a better balance and I think I am getting there. I am listening to my body and when I feel I can't do something, instead of doing it anyway, I'm resting.

I've all but eliminated going out with my friends. This is more-so because with my recent prognosis I am excited about the future so I am trying to do everything for myself that is going to ensure I get accepted to grad school. For once I am not bogged down with worrying how I am going to get through a day away from home or go out for a friends birthday. Now that those silly things are no longer a huge weight on my mind, I am free to think about the bigger picture beyond Crohn's. And I can just tell you; it's very damn exciting.

With how I am feeling at this moment, I think I will be okay even if this colonoscopy in November shows that I can't be reconnected. As long as I can continue being healthy, even with the ostomy, I am okay with that. Of course, if he is willing to reconnect me, that is another huge decision to make. But I will cross that bridge when I get there.

In other exciting news, I am down to 10 mg of Prednisone and not noticing any symptoms returning. This could be because the 6-MP has finally taken effect or that the Remicade just needed some time to get things really under control. I am going to taper really sssssllllloooowwwwlllyyyy until I get down to 0. I can't believe I've been on them ten months now. And as excited I am to be free of steroids, I don't want to get anxious and taper too fast. Hopefully next time I will have a good report of being steroid-free. It definitely calls for a celebration.

So for now I will probably update again after my next Remicade infusion on the 1st of October (I think). I also get an MRI that day but I doubt it will show anything. Hope everyone is enjoying this weather. I love this time of year. Especially being HEALTHY at this time of year. Makes for great hikes in the park. And great walks with your nephew :)

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